Always in Control?

Here’s Why You Might Want to Try Radically Open DBT!

Let’s be honest—self-control is usually seen as a strength. Being responsible, disciplined, composed, thoughtful… what could be wrong with that?

But what if your incredible self-control is getting in the way of your happiness?

If you’re someone who:

  • – Has trouble opening up emotionally
  • – Feels isolated even around people you love
  • – Avoids conflict, spontaneity, or emotional “messiness”
  • – Lives by rigid rules or high standards
  • – Feels like you’re always “on” but never really seen

…then you may be experiencing what therapists call overcontrolled coping. And Radically Open Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (RO-DBT) might be the missing piece you’ve been looking for.

What Is Overcontrolled Coping?

Overcontrolled coping is a style of dealing with the world by tightening up—emotionally, behaviorally, socially. It’s often driven by deep fears of vulnerability, failure, or rejection. People with overcontrolled traits are often:

  • – Perfectionistic
  • – Highly self-reliant
  • – Emotionally restrained
  • – Rule-bound or risk-averse
  • – Sensitive to criticism or perceived rejection

On the surface, this can look like “having it all together.” But inside, it can feel like chronic loneliness, tension, exhaustion, and an aching desire for deeper connection—without knowing how to reach it.

So, What Is RO-DBT?

Radically Open DBT is a therapy specifically designed for people who cope through overcontrol. Unlike standard DBT (which helps people who struggle with emotional undercontrol), RO-DBT focuses on increasing openness, flexibility, and authentic social connection.

RO-DBT isn’t about telling you to “chill out” or “just relax.” It’s about helping you build the courage to:

  • – Let go of perfection
  • – Express your true emotions
  • – Take healthy social and emotional risks
  • – Connect with others in more vulnerable, fulfilling ways

Why RO-DBT Works for Overcontrolled People

  1. It sees your overcontrol not as a flaw—but as an adaptation.
    RO-DBT recognizes that traits like discipline, attention to detail, and emotional control likely served you well at some point. The goal isn’t to get rid of these strengths—it’s to loosen their grip so they don’t cost you relationships or joy.
  2. It teaches radical openness.
    This means being open to new experiences, feedback, and uncertainty. You learn to become more flexible—not by being forced into chaos, but by exploring how curiosity and playfulness can lead to connection and growth.
  3. It targets social signaling.
    RO-DBT teaches you how subtle behaviors—facial expressions, tone of voice, body language—can either invite connection or push people away. You’ll learn how to signal openness instead of emotional distance.
  4. It emphasizes genuine connection.
    The core of RO-DBT is about forming deep, authentic relationships—not through people-pleasing or surface-level interactions, but through vulnerability and shared experience.

Signs You Might Benefit from RO-DBT

  • – You often feel lonely, even if you’re surrounded by people.
  • – You hide your true emotions to avoid “burdening” others.
  • – You rely on rules, routines, or perfection to feel safe.
  • – You struggle to relax or have fun without guilt.
  • – You value control so much that change feels threatening.
  • – You crave connection—but keep people at arm’s length.

If you read that and felt seen—you’re not alone. Overcontrol can be an invisible prison, and RO-DBT can help you find the key.

What RO-DBT Looks Like

RO-DBT is structured, but a bit different from traditional therapies. It usually includes:

  • – Individual therapy sessions
  • – Skills class (like a course on radical openness and connection)
  • – Home practice to experiment with new ways of interacting and responding
  • – Optional phone coaching or support between sessions

The focus is less on emotional regulation and more on building openness, receptivity, and playfulness—especially in social situations.

Final Thoughts: Control Isn’t the Enemy—Disconnection Is

You don’t need to become a completely different person. You don’t need to lose your drive or stop being organized. RO-DBT isn’t about undoing who you are—it’s about unlocking the parts of you that got locked away in the name of control.

It’s about learning how to be real. How to risk connection. How to be seen—messy, beautiful, and human.

If you’re tired of doing everything “right” but still feeling disconnected, maybe it’s time to try something radically different.

Maybe it’s time to be radically open.

Curious about whether RO-DBT is right for you? We have programs commencing four times a year in February, April, July and October. Our individual therapists can usually see you within a week of your initial contact.

You can get in contact with our team via email to intake@dbtclinics.com or go to our appointments page for more options at https://dbtclinics.com/appointments/