New Year’s Resolutions That Go Beyond Self‑Control

Radical Openness for 2026: New Year’s Resolutions That Go Beyond Self‑Control

As the calendar turns to 2026, many people once again feel the familiar pull of New Year’s resolutions. Promises to do more, try harder, be stricter, or finally get it right often dominate this time of year.

If you tend toward perfectionism, emotional restraint, or high self‑control, these resolutions may sound sensible—but they can also quietly reinforce patterns that lead to burnout, disconnection, and emotional loneliness.

Radically Open Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (RO‑DBT) offers a different starting point for the year ahead. Rather than focusing on tightening control, RO‑DBT invites us to practise openness, flexibility, and genuine social connection.

So for 2026, what if your resolutions weren’t about becoming more disciplined—but about becoming more open?

🎭 1. Resolve to Be More Openly Yourself

Traditional resolution: “Be more professional, polished, or put‑together.”
RO‑DBT reframe: “Practise showing my authentic self—even when it feels uncomfortable.”

Individuals with overcontrolled coping styles often hide parts of themselves to avoid judgment or rejection. RO‑DBT teaches that emotional expressiveness and authenticity are not liabilities—they are pathways to connection.

2026 intention:
Once a week, allow yourself to be a little more visible. Share a genuine reaction, show enthusiasm, admit uncertainty, or let your humour come through. Notice how openness, not perfection, invites closeness.

🎲 2. Resolve to Loosen One Rigid Rule

Traditional resolution: “Stick to my routines no matter what.”
RO‑DBT reframe: “Question rules that create stress rather than meaning.”

Many people live by internal rules they rarely examine—rules about productivity, rest, emotions, or how things should be done. While these rules may have once been adaptive, they can quietly restrict flexibility and joy.

2026 intention:
Identify one personal rule that feels constraining (e.g., I must always be efficient or I shouldn’t need help). Experiment with gently bending it and observe what happens—not just internally, but in your relationships.

💬 3. Resolve to Practise Honest Emotional Expression

Traditional resolution: “Keep the peace and avoid upsetting others.”
RO‑DBT reframe: “Share my inner experience with care and courage.”

Radical openness involves sharing emotions—not just facts or solutions. RO‑DBT recognises that emotional withholding, while protective, often contributes to emotional loneliness.

2026 intention:
Commit to expressing one honest feeling each week with someone you trust. This might be naming disappointment, appreciation, longing, or vulnerability. Emotional truth builds intimacy—even when it feels risky.

🌀 4. Resolve to Practise Flexibility When Things Change

Traditional resolution: “Stay on track at all costs.”
RO‑DBT reframe: “Respond flexibly when life doesn’t follow the plan.”

Overcontrol often brings comfort through predictability. Yet life inevitably disrupts plans. RO‑DBT encourages meeting change with curiosity rather than threat.

2026 intention:
Create intentional space for spontaneity. Allow someone else to decide. Say yes without over‑analysing. Let discomfort come and go without trying to control it. Growth often lives in the unplanned moments.

🫶 5. Resolve to Prioritise Playful Connection

Traditional resolution: “Be more responsible or helpful in relationships.”
RO‑DBT reframe: “Build connection through shared enjoyment, not just reliability.”

Individuals high in overcontrol are often valued for being dependable—but intimacy grows through warmth, play, and emotional presence. RO‑DBT highlights that joy and silliness are powerful social signals.

2026 intention:
Schedule time for lightness. Laugh with someone. Be playful. Do something purely for enjoyment rather than self‑improvement. Let connection be felt, not earned.

🌱 Final Reflection: A Different Kind of Resolution

As 2026 begins, RO‑DBT invites a radical shift in how we define growth. Instead of asking, “How can I control myself better?” the more transformative question may be:

“How can I open myself more fully to others, to feedback, and to life?”

Radical openness is not about abandoning values or discipline. It is about balancing competence with warmth, autonomy with connection, and control with flexibility.

This year, consider making resolutions that don’t just change what you do—but change how open, engaged, and connected you allow yourself to be.

Because meaningful change often begins not with striving—but with letting yourself be seen.

Maybe it’s time to be radically open.

Curious about whether RO-DBT is right for you? We have programs commencing four times a year in February, April, July and October. Our individual therapists can usually see you within a week of your initial contact.

You can get in contact with our team via email to intake@dbtclinics.com or go to our appointments page for more options at https://dbtclinics.com/appointments/

Online Therapy: Flexible, Evidence‑Based Support for Individuals

The way people access mental health support has changed dramatically in recent years. Online therapy is no longer a second‑best option—it is a highly effective, evidence‑based way for individuals to engage in meaningful psychological treatment. When delivered using structured approaches such as Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) and Radically Open Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (RO‑DBT), online therapy can be both powerful and accessible.


Importantly, therapy is not something that happens to individuals; it is something individuals actively engage in, learn from, and apply in their daily lives. Online DBT and RO‑DBT sessions honour this collaborative, skills‑based process.


What Are DBT and RO‑DBT?

Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) is a structured, skills‑based therapy originally developed to support individuals who experience intense emotions, difficulty regulating behaviour, and challenges in relationships. DBT focuses on building practical skills in:

  • – Emotion regulation

  • – Distress tolerance

  • – Interpersonal effectiveness

  • – Mindfulness


Radically Open DBT (RO‑DBT) is designed for individuals who tend toward emotional over‑control. This can include people who are highly self‑disciplined, perfectionistic, socially withdrawn, or emotionally inhibited. RO‑DBT focuses on:

  • – Increasing openness and flexibility

  • – Strengthening social connection and emotional expression

  • – Reducing rigid coping styles

  • – Building a life guided by values and meaningful relationships


Both approaches are grounded in neuroscience, behavioural science, and compassion‑focused principles.


Why Online Therapy Works

Research and clinical experience consistently show that DBT and RO‑DBT translate exceptionally well to online formats. For many individuals, online therapy actually enhances engagement rather than reducing it.


Key reasons include:

  • – Structure and clarity: DBT‑based approaches follow clear session structures, skills frameworks, and goals, which adapt well to telehealth.

  • – Skills practice in real life: Individuals can apply skills immediately in their home environment and reflect on real‑world challenges during sessions.

  • – Consistency of care: Online delivery reduces cancellations related to travel, health, or time constraints.


Benefits of Online DBT and RO‑DBT for Individuals


1. Accessibility and Convenience

Online therapy removes geographical barriers. Individuals can access specialist DBT or RO‑DBT support regardless of location, which is particularly valuable in regional, rural, or international settings.


2. Reduced Anxiety and Increased Comfort

Many individuals feel more at ease engaging in therapy from their own space. This can reduce initial anxiety and support more open discussion, particularly for those who struggle with emotional expression or social threat sensitivity.


3. Flexible and Individualised Care

Online therapy allows sessions to be tailored to the individual’s needs, pace, and goals. Therapists can integrate individual therapy, skills coaching, and between‑session practice in a way that fits real‑life demands.


4. Empowerment Through Skill Development

DBT and RO‑DBT emphasise learning and practicing skills rather than focusing solely on symptoms. Individuals gain tools they can use long after therapy ends, supporting autonomy and long‑term resilience.


5. Continuity During Life Transitions

Online therapy supports continuity of care during travel, relocation, work changes, or health disruptions—helping individuals stay connected to therapy during periods of transition.


Respecting Individuals, Not Labels

Using the term individuals rather than patients reflects a core value of DBT and RO‑DBT: people are active participants in change, not passive recipients of treatment. Therapy is a collaborative process that recognises strengths, values, and lived experience.


Online DBT and RO‑DBT reinforce this philosophy by:

  • – Encouraging shared decision‑making

  • – Emphasising personal goals and values

  • – Supporting individuals to generalise skills into everyday life

Is Online DBT or RO‑DBT Right for You?

Online DBT and RO‑DBT may be particularly helpful for individuals who:

  • Experience emotional intensity or emotional over‑control

  • – Want practical, skills‑based support

  • – Value structure alongside compassion

  • – Need flexible access to therapy

  • – Are seeking deeper connection, balance, and psychological wellbeing


A qualified clinician can help determine which approach best fits an individual’s needs.


Final Thoughts

Online therapy using DBT and RO‑DBT is not a compromise—it is a modern, effective, and empowering way for individuals to engage in meaningful psychological support. By combining evidence‑based frameworks with accessibility and flexibility, online therapy supports real change in real life.


When therapy respects individuals as capable, resilient, and active in their own growth, the outcomes can be profound—no matter where the therapy takes place.



Want to learn more about starting DBT? We have programs commencing four times a year in February, April, July and October. Our individual therapists can usually see you within a week of your initial contact.

You can get in contact with our team via email to intake@dbtclinics.com or go to our appointments page for more options at https://dbtclinics.com/appointments/

Social Connectedness, Intimacy, and Emotional Loneliness

Many individuals who rely on an overcontrolled coping style may appear outwardly capable, composed, and self‑sufficient. They often manage responsibilities well, maintain high standards, and value independence. Yet beneath this surface competence, there is frequently a quieter struggle—emotional loneliness. Radically Open Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (RO‑DBT) was developed in part to address this exact dilemma: how excessive self‑control, while once adaptive, can interfere with social connectedness and intimacy.

Understanding Emotional Loneliness in Overcontrol

Emotional loneliness is not simply about being alone. Many individuals with overcontrolled coping styles are surrounded by people—colleagues, family, acquaintances—yet still feel unseen, disconnected, or emotionally distant. This type of loneliness emerges when inner emotional experiences are consistently hidden, minimised, or tightly managed.

Over time, habits such as emotional inhibition, perfectionism, and reluctance to rely on others can limit opportunities for closeness. While these strategies may reduce vulnerability in the short term, they often increase isolation in the long term.

How Overcontrol Disrupts Connection

RO‑DBT views social connection as a biological need rather than a personal weakness. From this perspective, intimacy depends not only on what we say, but on the signals we send to others through facial expression, tone of voice, body posture, and emotional openness.

Individuals with overcontrolled coping styles may:

  • – Appear emotionally neutral or distant despite caring deeply
  • – Prioritise self‑reliance over mutual dependence
  • – Suppress emotional expression to avoid burdening others
  • – Rely on logic and problem‑solving at the expense of emotional sharing

These patterns can unintentionally signal disinterest or unavailability, even when the desire for closeness is strong.

RO‑DBT and the Science of Social Signalling

A central focus of RO‑DBT is social signalling—the subtle, often unconscious cues that shape how others experience us. Human connection is built through reciprocal signalling: warmth, openness, responsiveness, and emotional expression.

RO‑DBT helps individuals become more aware of how their internal experiences translate into external signals. Small shifts—such as softening facial expression, sharing a genuine emotional response, or tolerating moments of uncertainty—can dramatically change how safe and inviting others feel in connection.

Importantly, RO‑DBT does not aim to remove self‑control entirely. Instead, it helps individuals learn when control supports their values and when loosening control may foster deeper intimacy.

Re‑Learning Intimacy Through Openness

Intimacy requires risk. For individuals with overcontrolled coping styles, this risk often feels profound. Letting others see emotional needs, uncertainty, or vulnerability can activate fears of rejection, shame, or loss of control.

RO‑DBT supports individuals to practise gradual openness rather than dramatic disclosure. This may include:

  • – Sharing emotional experiences in real time
  • – Expressing preferences or needs directly
  • – Allowing others to influence thoughts or decisions
  • – Staying present with discomfort instead of withdrawing

Through repeated practice, individuals learn that openness often strengthens relationships rather than threatening them.

From Self‑Sufficiency to Shared Humanity

A key shift encouraged in RO‑DBT is moving from rigid self‑sufficiency toward interdependence. Healthy intimacy does not mean losing autonomy—it means allowing mutual influence, care, and emotional exchange.

As individuals reduce emotional masking and increase social signalling, many experience:

  • – Greater depth in relationships
  • – Increased sense of belonging
  • – Reduced emotional loneliness
  • – A felt sense of being known and accepted

Connection becomes something lived and embodied, not merely understood.

Emotional Loneliness Is Not a Personal Failure

RO‑DBT frames emotional loneliness as an understandable outcome of coping strategies that once helped individuals adapt, survive, or succeed. There is no blame in recognising that these strategies may no longer serve current relational needs.

By approaching connection with curiosity rather than self‑criticism, individuals can experiment with new ways of relating—ways that balance competence with warmth, and autonomy with closeness.

Final Thoughts

Social connectedness and intimacy are essential to psychological wellbeing. For individuals with overcontrolled coping styles, emotional loneliness is often not a lack of desire for connection, but a lack of learned pathways toward it.

Radically Open DBT offers a compassionate, science‑informed framework for reopening those pathways. Through increased awareness, flexible responding, and intentional openness, individuals can move toward richer, more satisfying relationships—where they are not only respected for what they do, but known for who they are.

Maybe it’s time to be radically open.

Curious about whether RO-DBT is right for you? We have programs commencing four times a year in February, April, July and October. Our individual therapists can usually see you within a week of your initial contact.

You can get in contact with our team via email to intake@dbtclinics.com or go to our appointments page for more options at https://dbtclinics.com/appointments/

Always in Control?

Here’s Why You Might Want to Try Radically Open DBT!

Let’s be honest—self-control is usually seen as a strength. Being responsible, disciplined, composed, thoughtful… what could be wrong with that?

But what if your incredible self-control is getting in the way of your happiness?

If you’re someone who:

  • – Has trouble opening up emotionally
  • – Feels isolated even around people you love
  • – Avoids conflict, spontaneity, or emotional “messiness”
  • – Lives by rigid rules or high standards
  • – Feels like you’re always “on” but never really seen

…then you may be experiencing what therapists call overcontrolled coping. And Radically Open Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (RO-DBT) might be the missing piece you’ve been looking for.

What Is Overcontrolled Coping?

Overcontrolled coping is a style of dealing with the world by tightening up—emotionally, behaviorally, socially. It’s often driven by deep fears of vulnerability, failure, or rejection. People with overcontrolled traits are often:

  • – Perfectionistic
  • – Highly self-reliant
  • – Emotionally restrained
  • – Rule-bound or risk-averse
  • – Sensitive to criticism or perceived rejection

On the surface, this can look like “having it all together.” But inside, it can feel like chronic loneliness, tension, exhaustion, and an aching desire for deeper connection—without knowing how to reach it.

So, What Is RO-DBT?

Radically Open DBT is a therapy specifically designed for people who cope through overcontrol. Unlike standard DBT (which helps people who struggle with emotional undercontrol), RO-DBT focuses on increasing openness, flexibility, and authentic social connection.

RO-DBT isn’t about telling you to “chill out” or “just relax.” It’s about helping you build the courage to:

  • – Let go of perfection
  • – Express your true emotions
  • – Take healthy social and emotional risks
  • – Connect with others in more vulnerable, fulfilling ways

Why RO-DBT Works for Overcontrolled People

  1. It sees your overcontrol not as a flaw—but as an adaptation.
    RO-DBT recognizes that traits like discipline, attention to detail, and emotional control likely served you well at some point. The goal isn’t to get rid of these strengths—it’s to loosen their grip so they don’t cost you relationships or joy.
  2. It teaches radical openness.
    This means being open to new experiences, feedback, and uncertainty. You learn to become more flexible—not by being forced into chaos, but by exploring how curiosity and playfulness can lead to connection and growth.
  3. It targets social signaling.
    RO-DBT teaches you how subtle behaviors—facial expressions, tone of voice, body language—can either invite connection or push people away. You’ll learn how to signal openness instead of emotional distance.
  4. It emphasizes genuine connection.
    The core of RO-DBT is about forming deep, authentic relationships—not through people-pleasing or surface-level interactions, but through vulnerability and shared experience.

Signs You Might Benefit from RO-DBT

  • – You often feel lonely, even if you’re surrounded by people.
  • – You hide your true emotions to avoid “burdening” others.
  • – You rely on rules, routines, or perfection to feel safe.
  • – You struggle to relax or have fun without guilt.
  • – You value control so much that change feels threatening.
  • – You crave connection—but keep people at arm’s length.

If you read that and felt seen—you’re not alone. Overcontrol can be an invisible prison, and RO-DBT can help you find the key.

What RO-DBT Looks Like

RO-DBT is structured, but a bit different from traditional therapies. It usually includes:

  • – Individual therapy sessions
  • – Skills class (like a course on radical openness and connection)
  • – Home practice to experiment with new ways of interacting and responding
  • – Optional phone coaching or support between sessions

The focus is less on emotional regulation and more on building openness, receptivity, and playfulness—especially in social situations.

Final Thoughts: Control Isn’t the Enemy—Disconnection Is

You don’t need to become a completely different person. You don’t need to lose your drive or stop being organized. RO-DBT isn’t about undoing who you are—it’s about unlocking the parts of you that got locked away in the name of control.

It’s about learning how to be real. How to risk connection. How to be seen—messy, beautiful, and human.

If you’re tired of doing everything “right” but still feeling disconnected, maybe it’s time to try something radically different.

Maybe it’s time to be radically open.

Curious about whether RO-DBT is right for you? We have programs commencing four times a year in February, April, July and October. Our individual therapists can usually see you within a week of your initial contact.

You can get in contact with our team via email to intake@dbtclinics.com or go to our appointments page for more options at https://dbtclinics.com/appointments/

Radical Openness for the New Year!

Every January, millions of people make resolutions that sound a lot like this:

  • “Be more productive.”
  • “Stick to a strict routine.”
  • “Control my eating/spending/time better.”

Sound familiar?

If you tend toward perfectionism, rule-following, or emotional inhibition, these kinds of resolutions might feel natural—but also exhausting. That’s where Radically Open DBT (RO-DBT) offers a breath of fresh air. Instead of trying to tighten up, RO-DBT invites us to loosen up—to get curious, take social-emotional risks, and embrace the vulnerability that comes with being truly seen.

So this year, try flipping the script. Let’s make resolutions that focus on openness, flexibility, and joyful connection.

🎭 1. Be More Weird (On Purpose)

Traditional Resolution: “Be more professional/perfect/polished.”
RO-DBT Reframe: “Take more social-emotional risks—show my quirky, real self.”

Overcontrolled individuals often fear being judged or rejected, so they mask their true personality. RO-DBT teaches that expressing our uniqueness (even awkwardly!) builds real connection.

Resolution Idea:
Once a week, do something a little out of character on purpose—crack a silly joke, share an embarrassing story, or wear something that breaks your usual style rules. Let people see the real, imperfect, vibrant you.

🎲 2. Break a Rule (That Doesn’t Serve You)

Traditional Resolution: “Stick to my routines no matter what.”
RO-DBT Reframe: “Challenge one rigid rule I follow that might be limiting me.”

People with overcontrolled coping styles often have unspoken “shoulds” that govern everything—from how to load the dishwasher to how emotions should be expressed.

Resolution Idea:
Pick one internal rule that creates stress (e.g., “I must always be early,” or “I can’t relax until everything’s done”) and break it once a week—gently, playfully, mindfully.

💬 3. Speak Honestly (Even If It Feels Risky)

Traditional Resolution: “Keep the peace and avoid confrontation.”
RO-DBT Reframe: “Practice radical openness by sharing how I really feel.”

In RO-DBT, radical openness means being willing to share truths—not just opinions. This means expressing real feelings, preferences, or disappointments instead of bottling them up.

Resolution Idea:
Once a week, express something honest and vulnerable to someone close. It doesn’t have to be dramatic—it could be as simple as, “I’ve been feeling lonely lately,” or “I actually don’t love that restaurant.”

🌀 4. Let Go of the Plan (and Roll With It)

Traditional Resolution: “Stick to my schedule.”
RO-DBT Reframe: “Practice flexibility when life doesn’t go as planned.”

Overcontrolled folks often find comfort in planning—but life is messy, and growth lives in the unplanned. RO-DBT encourages us to approach change with curiosity, not fear.

Resolution Idea:
Create space each week for spontaneity. Say yes to a last-minute invite. Try something new without researching it first. Let someone else make the plan. Notice the discomfort—and do it anyway.

🫶 5. Make Time for Playful Connection

Traditional Resolution: “Strengthen relationships by being more helpful or responsible.”
RO-DBT Reframe: “Nurture connection through shared joy, not just duty.”

People high in overcontrol often focus on being useful, which can accidentally make relationships feel transactional. RO-DBT teaches that play, laughter, and mutual weirdness are the glue of true connection.

Resolution Idea:
Schedule one lighthearted social interaction each week. Watch a silly movie with a friend. Play a game. Dance around the kitchen. Laugh on purpose. Let go of the need to be productive in every interaction.

🌱 Final Thoughts: The Most Radical Resolution of All

In a world that praises hustle, control, and perfection, the most radical thing you can do is let yourself be real.

RO-DBT reminds us that authentic connection requires courage, playfulness, and openness to feedback. So this year, instead of striving to be better, try being braver. Not in the “face your fears” kind of way—but in the “show up as your whole self” kind of way.

Because maybe, just maybe, that’s the version of you the world’s been waiting to meet.

Want to learn more about starting RO-DBT? We have programs commencing four times a year in February, April, July and October. Our individual therapists can usually see you within a week of your initial contact.

You can get in contact with our team via email to intake@dbtclinics.com or go to our appointments page for more options at https://dbtclinics.com/appointments/