DBT – DBT Programs

Cultivating Self-Care Through the Lens of DBT

Self-care is more than bubble baths and spa days—although those can be great, too. At its core, self-care is about recognising your needs and intentionally taking action to meet them. In Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), self-care is not only encouraged, it’s essential for building a life worth living.

DBT, developed by Dr. Marsha Linehan, was originally created to treat individuals with borderline personality disorder, but its tools and philosophies have proven helpful for anyone navigating intense emotions, relationship struggles, or just the chaos of everyday life. Here’s how you can apply DBT principles to create a self-care routine that is compassionate, balanced, and sustainable.

1. Mindfulness: The Foundation of Self-Awareness

DBT begins with mindfulness—the practice of being fully present in the moment without judgment. Mindfulness helps you notice when you’re overwhelmed, burned out, or ignoring your needs.

Try this: Set a daily check-in reminder. When it goes off, pause and ask yourself:

“How am I feeling emotionally and physically right now?”
“What do I need in this moment?”
By tuning in regularly, you’ll be more in touch with your emotional landscape and can respond before hitting the breaking point.

2. Distress Tolerance: Caring for Yourself When Things Get Tough

Sometimes, life throws curveballs that can’t be fixed right away. Distress Tolerance skills help you survive these moments without making things worse.

DBT skill to try: TIPP skills (Temperature, Intense Exercise, Paced Breathing, and Progressive Muscle Relaxation). These fast-acting strategies help regulate your nervous system in high-stress moments.
For example, try splashing cold water on your face (Temperature) or doing 10 jumping jacks (Intense Exercise) to release built-up tension.

3. Emotion Regulation: Proactive Self-Care for Emotional Health

Emotion Regulation skills teach us how to understand and manage emotions before they become overwhelming. Self-care, in this context, means doing things that build emotional resilience.

DBT skill to try: PLEASE (treat PhysicaL illness, Eat balanced meals, avoid mood-Altering substances, get enough Sleep, and Exercise regularly). These might seem basic, but they’re powerful. Neglecting these areas can make us more emotionally vulnerable.

Think of PLEASE as the “baseline” of self-care. When your foundation is strong, you’re more capable of handling stress and uncertainty.

4. Interpersonal Effectiveness: Setting Boundaries as Self-Care

Sometimes, self-care means saying no, asking for help, or advocating for your needs. DBT’s Interpersonal Effectiveness skills give you tools to do this with clarity and confidence.

DBT skill to try: DEAR MAN (Describe, Express, Assert, Reinforce, Mindful, Appear confident, Negotiate). This structure helps you have tough conversations without sacrificing your self-respect or damaging relationships.

Example:
“I noticed I’ve been taking on a lot of extra work (Describe). I feel really overwhelmed and stressed (Express). I need to step back from this project for now (Assert). If I can focus on fewer tasks, I’ll be able to do a better job (Reinforce).”

5. Radical Acceptance: When Self-Care Means Letting Go

There are times when no amount of action can change a painful situation. That’s where Radical Acceptance comes in. It doesn’t mean approval or giving up—it means accepting reality as it is so you can stop fighting it and start moving forward.

Try this: When you find yourself resisting reality, pause and repeat:
“This is what’s happening right now. I may not like it, but I accept that it is real.”
Acceptance can be the most compassionate form of self-care there is.

Final Thoughts

Self-care isn’t a luxury; it’s a lifeline. With DBT as a guide, self-care becomes less about what you can do and more about what you need in order to live a balanced, meaningful life. Whether you’re soothing yourself in a moment of crisis, setting boundaries, or simply remembering to eat lunch, these acts of care are deeply radical—and deeply healing.

Want to learn more about starting DBT? We have programs commencing four times a year in February, April, July and October. Our individual therapists can usually see you within a week of your initial contact.

You can get in contact with our team via email to intake@dbtclinics.com or go to our appointments page for more options at https://dbtclinics.com/appointments/

Thinking About Starting DBT?

Here’s How to Overcome the Hard Part: Beginning

Starting therapy can be hard. Starting Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT)? That can feel like a whole other level. Maybe you’ve been told DBT could help you. Maybe you’ve done the research. Maybe this is your last hope after trying everything else.

But there’s a part of you that’s unsure—or even terrified—of taking that first step.

You’re not alone.

DBT is life-changing. But let’s be honest: it’s also challenging. Especially in the beginning. So let’s talk about it—why starting DBT can feel so tough, and how to push through when everything in you wants to avoid it.

1. “It Feels Like Too Much”

DBT can look intimidating from the outside. Weekly individual therapy, weekly skills groups, homework, tracking emotions, phone coaching—wait, what?

Yes, it’s structured. Yes, it requires effort. And yes—it can feel overwhelming at first.

Well… here’s the thing: That structure is what makes DBT work. If your emotions feel out of control, that structure is the safety net. The skills are bite-sized, learned week by week. You don’t have to do it all at once—you just have to start.

🟢 Small step: Tell yourself you only need to show up to the first session. That’s it. No commitment beyond that. Just one step at a time.

2. “I Don’t Know If It’ll Help Me”

If you’ve been through years of therapy and still feel like it is all too much, it’s normal to feel skeptical. DBT is often recommended to people who have tried everything else—and that can bring both hope and hopelessness.

But DBT is different because it teaches skills—real, practical tools for managing emotions, reducing impulsivity, and improving relationships. It’s not just talking about problems—it’s about building a toolkit to face them.

🟢 Small step: Watch a video or read a personal story from someone who’s completed DBT. Hearing how it helped others can build trust that it could help you too.

3. “I’m Scared of Feeling Exposed or Judged”

A full DBT approach involves group therapy (the skills class). For some, skills classes can feel terrifying if you’re used to hiding your emotions or feel ashamed of your past.

Here’s what you need to know: DBT groups aren’t group therapy in the traditional sense. They’re skills classes, more like a course than a therapy circle. You don’t have to share your deepest secrets. You learn together, and you get to choose how much or how little you share.

Also? Everyone in that room gets it. You’re not too much. You’re not the only one. You belong there.

🟢 Small step: Ask your therapist or provider what group looks like. Sometimes, just knowing what to expect helps reduce fear.

4. “What If I Fail at DBT?”

If you’re someone who already struggles with self-criticism or perfectionism, the idea of “failing” at therapy might feel like one more thing to get wrong.

But DBT expects individuals to struggle. In fact, one of its core assumptions is:
🌀 “People are doing the best they can—and they can do better with support.”

DBT therapists don’t expect perfection. They seek effort. If you forget to fill out your diary card or mess up a skill—good. That means you’re trying. That means you’re in it.

🟢 Small step: Shift your mindset from “I have to do this perfectly” to “I just have to keep showing up.” That’s how progress happens.

5. “I Don’t Think I Deserve to Get Better”

This one hits deep. If you’ve been in pain for a long time, there may be a part of you that believes healing isn’t for you. That you’re too broken, too complicated, too far gone.

Let me say this clearly:
💬 DBT was made for people who feel like they’re at the end of the road.
If you’re still breathing, there’s still a chance. And if no one has told you this before—you are allowed to heal. You are allowed to build a life worth living.

🟢 Small step: Try saying this to yourself—“Even if I don’t believe I deserve healing, I’m going to try anyway.” Let your actions lead the way.

Final Thoughts: The Hardest Part Is Starting—But That’s Where Everything Changes

Starting DBT means choosing to stop surviving and start learning. It means being willing to believe—just a little—that change is possible.

It won’t be easy. And you won’t be doing it alone.

So if you’re standing at the edge, wondering if you should take the leap—this is your sign.

🧠 You don’t have to feel ready.
🦶 You just have to take one step.
💬 And you can always ask for support along the way.

We all deserve the tools. We all deserve the stability. We all deserve the life that DBT can help you build.

Need help figuring out how to start DBT? Whether it’s finding a program, understanding the structure, or beginning DBT… our DBT Clinic team is available to support you access the most appropriate DBT program! We have programs commencing four times a year in February, April, July and October. Our individual therapists can usually see you within a week of your initial contact.

You can get in contact with our team via email to intake@dbtclinics.com or go to our appointments page for more options at https://dbtclinics.com/appointments/

DBT-Inspired New Year’s Resolutions

Ah, New Year’s resolutions. Every January, we’re bombarded with messages to “be better,” “do more,” or “finally get it together.” But let’s be real: those all-or-nothing goals? They often lead to burnout by February.

Enter: DBT (Dialectical Behaviour Therapy)—a skills-based approach that’s all about finding balance, managing emotions, and building a life worth living. Instead of aiming for perfection, DBT invites us to live more mindfully, regulate emotions effectively, and improve our relationships.

So this year, skip the shame-based resolutions and try these DBT-aligned goals instead.

🧘‍♀️ 1. Practice Mindfulness Over Perfection

Traditional Resolution: “I’ll be more productive every day.”
DBT-Inspired Upgrade: “I’ll practice mindfulness every day—even for 60 seconds.”

Mindfulness in DBT means staying present without judgment. You don’t have to meditate on a mountain. It could be as simple as mindfully brushing your teeth or eating a snack without scrolling your phone. It’s not about zoning out—it’s about tuning in.

Try this: Set a daily “pause” alarm. When it goes off, take 3 deep breaths and check in:
What am I feeling right now? What do I need?

💪 2. Build Emotional Resilience (One Healthy Habit at a Time)

Traditional Resolution: “I’m going to completely cut out sugar and go to the gym every day.”
DBT-Inspired Upgrade: “I’ll take care of my body so my emotions have a solid foundation.”

In DBT, the PLEASE skills remind us to care for our physical health to reduce emotional vulnerability. It’s not about weight loss or punishment—it’s about fueling your body and brain so you can handle life better.

DBT Goal Ideas:

Drink a full glass of water when you wake up.
Go for a 10-minute walk three times a week.
Go to bed 30 minutes earlier once a week.

Tiny changes can make a big emotional impact.

🔥 3. Respond to Stress Without Self-Destructing

Traditional Resolution: “I’ll stop freaking out when things go wrong.”
DBT-Inspired Upgrade: “When I’m overwhelmed, I’ll use Distress Tolerance skills before reacting.”

Life will get messy. DBT’s Distress Tolerance tools help you survive those moments without making things worse. It’s not about suppressing emotions—it’s about riding the wave until it passes.

Resolution idea: “When I’m triggered, I’ll pause and do one DBT skill before acting.”
Examples:

Splash cold water on your face (TIP skill).
Do a grounding 5-4-3-2-1 exercise.
Hold an ice cube when you’re overwhelmed.

🗣️ 4. Communicate Like a Boss (Even When It’s Hard)

Traditional Resolution: “I’m going to cut out all toxic people.”
DBT-Inspired Upgrade: “I’ll use DBT’s DEAR MAN skills to ask for what I need.”

Setting boundaries is self-care. But so is expressing needs with skill. DBT’s Interpersonal Effectiveness tools like DEAR MAN help you speak up with confidence and kindness.

Mini-resolution: Practice one assertive conversation a month using DEAR MAN:

Describe the situation
Express how you feel
Assert what you need
Reinforce why it matters
Stay Mindful, Appear confident, and be open to Negotiation

Example:
“I feel anxious when plans change last minute. Can we agree to give each other at least a few hours’ notice?”

🌿 5. Radically Accept What You Can’t Control

Traditional Resolution: “I’m going to stay positive no matter what!”
DBT-Inspired Upgrade: “I will practice radical acceptance when life is out of my control.”

Positivity is great—but sometimes, life just sucks. Radical Acceptance isn’t giving up; it’s choosing peace over resistance when things can’t be changed.

Resolution idea: When something feels unfair, painful, or unexpected, pause and say:
“This is what’s happening. I may not like it, but I accept that it’s real.”
That moment of acceptance can create space for healing.

🧠 Final Thoughts: Progress, Not Perfection

The magic of DBT is that it embraces the dialectic: two things can be true at once. You can want to change and accept where you are. You can struggle and still be trying your best. Your self-care doesn’t need to be aesthetic or Instagram-worthy—it just needs to be yours.

Feeling Out of Control?

Here’s Why DBT Might Be What You Need!

Have you ever felt like your emotions are running the show—like you’re on a roller coaster that won’t slow down?

Maybe you say things you regret in the heat of the moment. Or shut down completely when emotions get too big. Maybe your relationships are intense, your moods unpredictable, and no matter how hard you try, it feels like too much, too fast, too often.

If this sounds familiar, you may be struggling with undercontrolled coping—and Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) could be exactly what you need.

What Is Undercontrolled Coping?

Undercontrolled coping is a pattern where emotions and impulses feel overwhelming or hard to manage. It’s often linked to:

– Intense mood swings
– Difficulty tolerating distress
– Impulsive behaviors (like self-harm, binge eating, substance use)
– Struggles with identity or unstable relationships
– Feeling emotionally vulnerable or misunderstood

You might be incredibly sensitive and deeply caring—but when things go wrong, your reactions feel “too big” or “too much.” And that’s not because you’re weak—it’s because no one ever gave you the skills to handle emotions this powerful.

What Is DBT, and Why Does It Work?

Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) was developed by Dr. Marsha Linehan to help people who experience chronic emotional dysregulation. It’s especially effective for those with borderline personality disorder, but it’s also been shown to help people dealing with depression, anxiety, PTSD, eating disorders, and more.

DBT is all about teaching you how to feel your emotions without being ruled by them. It combines acceptance (you are doing the best you can) and change (you can learn new ways to cope).

It’s not about “fixing” you—it’s about empowering you with skills to build a life that actually feels worth living.

4 Core Skill Areas of DBT (That Can Change Your Life)

Mindfulness
Learn to be present in the moment—without judgment. This is the foundation for all other skills. Mindfulness helps you slow down, notice your patterns, and respond instead of react.
Distress Tolerance
These skills help you survive emotional crises without making things worse. Instead of spiraling or acting impulsively, you’ll learn ways to ride out the storm safely.
Emotion Regulation
Emotions don’t have to be the enemy. DBT teaches you how to identify, understand, and manage your feelings before they overwhelm you.
Interpersonal Effectiveness
Learn how to ask for what you need, set boundaries, and maintain relationships—without exploding or shutting down.

Why DBT Is Different

✅ It’s skills-based. DBT gives you a toolbox you can use in real time—not just “talk therapy.”
✅ It balances acceptance and change. You’ll learn to validate your pain and take steps toward healing.
✅ It’s structured. Weekly skills groups, individual therapy, and phone coaching create a strong support system.
✅ It works. DBT is backed by decades of research and used in hospitals, outpatient programs, and even schools.

Who Should Consider DBT?

You don’t have to hit “rock bottom” to benefit from DBT. It can help if you:

– Feel overwhelmed by your emotions
– Struggle with impulsive behaviors
– Experience extreme highs and lows
– Have unstable or intense relationships
– Feel like you “overreact” or can’t calm down
– Want better coping skills but don’t know where to start

Final Thoughts: You’re Not Broken—You’re Underskilled

Here’s the truth: no one teaches us how to handle intense emotions. If you’ve been coping through shutdowns, outbursts, self-harm, or numbing—those were the best tools you had at the time.

DBT doesn’t judge you for that. It simply says: Let’s find new tools together.

You are not “too much.” You are not hopeless. You just need a map, and DBT might be it.

Why Stabilisation Comes First – How DBT Can Help You Get There!

In the world of mental health and healing, we often focus on the so called big work—processing trauma, confronting deep-seated fears, or changing lifelong patterns. But here’s a truth that’s often overlooked:

Before you can go deep, you have to get stable!

Think of it like building a house. You wouldn’t start hanging artwork before the foundation is poured, right? Emotional and psychological healing is no different. And when it comes to building that foundation, Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) is one of the most effective toolkits we have.

What Does “Stabilisation” Really Mean?

Stabilisation is about creating a sense of safety, structure, and emotional steadiness in your daily life. It doesn’t mean life is perfect or pain-free— it means you have enough tools and support to handle distress without falling apart.

Signs you might need stabilisation:

– You’re frequently overwhelmed by your emotions
– You’re using harmful coping strategies (e.g., self-harm, substance use)
– You feel constantly on edge or unsafe in your own body
– You struggle with impulsivity, mood swings, or shutting down
– Your relationships feel chaotic or unstable
– Therapy feels too intense or re-traumatizing

In short, if life feels like you’re constantly putting out fires, your nervous system needs a chance to breathe before doing deeper emotional work.

Why DBT Is the Gold Standard for Stabilisation

Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) was created specifically to help people build stability before diving into the emotional deep end. Originally developed by Dr. Marsha Linehan for individuals with intense emotional dysregulation, DBT is now widely used for anyone who struggles with self-destructive behaviors, trauma, or chaotic relationships.

DBT is practical. Structured. Evidence-based. And for many individuals DBT works.

The 4 DBT Skill Areas That Support Stabilisation

🧘 1. Mindfulness: Learning to Stay Present

When emotions feel like tidal waves, mindfulness is your anchor. DBT teaches you how to observe what’s happening inside and around you without judgment—so you can slow down, notice your urges, and make wise choices instead of reacting impulsively.

Mindfulness = hitting pause instead of panic.

🛑 2. Distress Tolerance: Surviving the Storm

These are your crisis tools—the ones you reach for when things feel out of control. Instead of self-harming, exploding, or numbing out, DBT gives you short-term strategies to ride out the intensity.

Skills like:

– Using ice or cold water to shock your system into calm
– Distracting with healthy alternatives
– Self-soothing through your senses
– Radical acceptance of what you can’t control

Distress tolerance helps you survive moments that used to break you.

❤️‍🔥 3. Emotion Regulation: Managing the Heat

It’s not about turning off your feelings—it’s about turning down the volume when things get too loud. DBT helps you:

– Understand what emotions you’re feeling (and why)
– Reduce your vulnerability to emotional chaos
– Increase positive experiences
– Build a life that feels more balanced overall

Regulation is the thermostat—so you don’t swing from freezing to boiling.

💬 4. Interpersonal Effectiveness: Navigating Relationships

Chaos in relationships can destabilize your whole world. DBT teaches you how to:

– Ask for what you need
– Set boundaries
– Say no without guilt
– Resolve conflict without blowing up or shutting down

Stable relationships = a more stable you.

Stabilisation Isn’t Stagnation—It’s Preparation

Sometimes people worry that focusing on stabilisation means avoiding “the real work” of therapy. The truth is: stability is the real work—especially if your nervous system has been living in survival mode for years.

Stabilization gives you the emotional bandwidth to:

– Be curious instead of defensive
– Engage in trauma work safely
– Reflect rather than react
– Build long-term change, not just crisis recovery

And once you’re stable, the deeper healing becomes less terrifying and more empowering.

Final Thoughts about a Solid Foundation

If life has felt like a constant emergency, or if therapy has felt overwhelming or unhelpful, maybe it’s not that you’re “too broken”—maybe it’s just that you haven’t been given the tools to stabilise yet.

DBT doesn’t promise perfection. It does however offer a roadmap toward emotional safety, clarity, and control. It’s not easy work—but it’s steady, supportive, and life-changing.

So if you’re ready to stop spiraling and start stabilizing, maybe it’s time to give DBT a real chance.

Want to learn more about starting DBT? We have programs commencing four times a year in February, April, July and October. Our individual therapists can usually see you within a week of your initial contact.

You can get in contact with our team via email to intake@dbtclinics.com or go to our appointments page for more options at https://dbtclinics.com/appointments/

Category Archives: DBT