2025 – DBT Programs

Cultivating Self-Care Through the Lens of DBT

Self-care is more than bubble baths and spa days—although those can be great, too. At its core, self-care is about recognising your needs and intentionally taking action to meet them. In Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), self-care is not only encouraged, it’s essential for building a life worth living.

DBT, developed by Dr. Marsha Linehan, was originally created to treat individuals with borderline personality disorder, but its tools and philosophies have proven helpful for anyone navigating intense emotions, relationship struggles, or just the chaos of everyday life. Here’s how you can apply DBT principles to create a self-care routine that is compassionate, balanced, and sustainable.

1. Mindfulness: The Foundation of Self-Awareness

DBT begins with mindfulness—the practice of being fully present in the moment without judgment. Mindfulness helps you notice when you’re overwhelmed, burned out, or ignoring your needs.

Try this: Set a daily check-in reminder. When it goes off, pause and ask yourself:

“How am I feeling emotionally and physically right now?”
“What do I need in this moment?”
By tuning in regularly, you’ll be more in touch with your emotional landscape and can respond before hitting the breaking point.

2. Distress Tolerance: Caring for Yourself When Things Get Tough

Sometimes, life throws curveballs that can’t be fixed right away. Distress Tolerance skills help you survive these moments without making things worse.

DBT skill to try: TIPP skills (Temperature, Intense Exercise, Paced Breathing, and Progressive Muscle Relaxation). These fast-acting strategies help regulate your nervous system in high-stress moments.
For example, try splashing cold water on your face (Temperature) or doing 10 jumping jacks (Intense Exercise) to release built-up tension.

3. Emotion Regulation: Proactive Self-Care for Emotional Health

Emotion Regulation skills teach us how to understand and manage emotions before they become overwhelming. Self-care, in this context, means doing things that build emotional resilience.

DBT skill to try: PLEASE (treat PhysicaL illness, Eat balanced meals, avoid mood-Altering substances, get enough Sleep, and Exercise regularly). These might seem basic, but they’re powerful. Neglecting these areas can make us more emotionally vulnerable.

Think of PLEASE as the “baseline” of self-care. When your foundation is strong, you’re more capable of handling stress and uncertainty.

4. Interpersonal Effectiveness: Setting Boundaries as Self-Care

Sometimes, self-care means saying no, asking for help, or advocating for your needs. DBT’s Interpersonal Effectiveness skills give you tools to do this with clarity and confidence.

DBT skill to try: DEAR MAN (Describe, Express, Assert, Reinforce, Mindful, Appear confident, Negotiate). This structure helps you have tough conversations without sacrificing your self-respect or damaging relationships.

Example:
“I noticed I’ve been taking on a lot of extra work (Describe). I feel really overwhelmed and stressed (Express). I need to step back from this project for now (Assert). If I can focus on fewer tasks, I’ll be able to do a better job (Reinforce).”

5. Radical Acceptance: When Self-Care Means Letting Go

There are times when no amount of action can change a painful situation. That’s where Radical Acceptance comes in. It doesn’t mean approval or giving up—it means accepting reality as it is so you can stop fighting it and start moving forward.

Try this: When you find yourself resisting reality, pause and repeat:
“This is what’s happening right now. I may not like it, but I accept that it is real.”
Acceptance can be the most compassionate form of self-care there is.

Final Thoughts

Self-care isn’t a luxury; it’s a lifeline. With DBT as a guide, self-care becomes less about what you can do and more about what you need in order to live a balanced, meaningful life. Whether you’re soothing yourself in a moment of crisis, setting boundaries, or simply remembering to eat lunch, these acts of care are deeply radical—and deeply healing.

Want to learn more about starting DBT? We have programs commencing four times a year in February, April, July and October. Our individual therapists can usually see you within a week of your initial contact.

You can get in contact with our team via email to intake@dbtclinics.com or go to our appointments page for more options at https://dbtclinics.com/appointments/

Always in Control?

Here’s Why You Might Want to Try Radically Open DBT!

Let’s be honest—self-control is usually seen as a strength. Being responsible, disciplined, composed, thoughtful… what could be wrong with that?

But what if your incredible self-control is getting in the way of your happiness?

If you’re someone who:

– Has trouble opening up emotionally
– Feels isolated even around people you love
– Avoids conflict, spontaneity, or emotional “messiness”
– Lives by rigid rules or high standards
– Feels like you’re always “on” but never really seen

…then you may be experiencing what therapists call overcontrolled coping. And Radically Open Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (RO-DBT) might be the missing piece you’ve been looking for.

What Is Overcontrolled Coping?

Overcontrolled coping is a style of dealing with the world by tightening up—emotionally, behaviorally, socially. It’s often driven by deep fears of vulnerability, failure, or rejection. People with overcontrolled traits are often:

– Perfectionistic
– Highly self-reliant
– Emotionally restrained
– Rule-bound or risk-averse
– Sensitive to criticism or perceived rejection

On the surface, this can look like “having it all together.” But inside, it can feel like chronic loneliness, tension, exhaustion, and an aching desire for deeper connection—without knowing how to reach it.

So, What Is RO-DBT?

Radically Open DBT is a therapy specifically designed for people who cope through overcontrol. Unlike standard DBT (which helps people who struggle with emotional undercontrol), RO-DBT focuses on increasing openness, flexibility, and authentic social connection.

RO-DBT isn’t about telling you to “chill out” or “just relax.” It’s about helping you build the courage to:

– Let go of perfection
– Express your true emotions
– Take healthy social and emotional risks
– Connect with others in more vulnerable, fulfilling ways

Why RO-DBT Works for Overcontrolled People

It sees your overcontrol not as a flaw—but as an adaptation.
RO-DBT recognizes that traits like discipline, attention to detail, and emotional control likely served you well at some point. The goal isn’t to get rid of these strengths—it’s to loosen their grip so they don’t cost you relationships or joy.
It teaches radical openness.
This means being open to new experiences, feedback, and uncertainty. You learn to become more flexible—not by being forced into chaos, but by exploring how curiosity and playfulness can lead to connection and growth.
It targets social signaling.
RO-DBT teaches you how subtle behaviors—facial expressions, tone of voice, body language—can either invite connection or push people away. You’ll learn how to signal openness instead of emotional distance.
It emphasizes genuine connection.
The core of RO-DBT is about forming deep, authentic relationships—not through people-pleasing or surface-level interactions, but through vulnerability and shared experience.

Signs You Might Benefit from RO-DBT

– You often feel lonely, even if you’re surrounded by people.
– You hide your true emotions to avoid “burdening” others.
– You rely on rules, routines, or perfection to feel safe.
– You struggle to relax or have fun without guilt.
– You value control so much that change feels threatening.
– You crave connection—but keep people at arm’s length.

If you read that and felt seen—you’re not alone. Overcontrol can be an invisible prison, and RO-DBT can help you find the key.

What RO-DBT Looks Like

RO-DBT is structured, but a bit different from traditional therapies. It usually includes:

– Individual therapy sessions
– Skills class (like a course on radical openness and connection)
– Home practice to experiment with new ways of interacting and responding
– Optional phone coaching or support between sessions

The focus is less on emotional regulation and more on building openness, receptivity, and playfulness—especially in social situations.

Final Thoughts: Control Isn’t the Enemy—Disconnection Is

You don’t need to become a completely different person. You don’t need to lose your drive or stop being organized. RO-DBT isn’t about undoing who you are—it’s about unlocking the parts of you that got locked away in the name of control.

It’s about learning how to be real. How to risk connection. How to be seen—messy, beautiful, and human.

If you’re tired of doing everything “right” but still feeling disconnected, maybe it’s time to try something radically different.

Maybe it’s time to be radically open.

Curious about whether RO-DBT is right for you? We have programs commencing four times a year in February, April, July and October. Our individual therapists can usually see you within a week of your initial contact.

You can get in contact with our team via email to intake@dbtclinics.com or go to our appointments page for more options at https://dbtclinics.com/appointments/

Thinking About Starting DBT?

Here’s How to Overcome the Hard Part: Beginning

Starting therapy can be hard. Starting Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT)? That can feel like a whole other level. Maybe you’ve been told DBT could help you. Maybe you’ve done the research. Maybe this is your last hope after trying everything else.

But there’s a part of you that’s unsure—or even terrified—of taking that first step.

You’re not alone.

DBT is life-changing. But let’s be honest: it’s also challenging. Especially in the beginning. So let’s talk about it—why starting DBT can feel so tough, and how to push through when everything in you wants to avoid it.

1. “It Feels Like Too Much”

DBT can look intimidating from the outside. Weekly individual therapy, weekly skills groups, homework, tracking emotions, phone coaching—wait, what?

Yes, it’s structured. Yes, it requires effort. And yes—it can feel overwhelming at first.

Well… here’s the thing: That structure is what makes DBT work. If your emotions feel out of control, that structure is the safety net. The skills are bite-sized, learned week by week. You don’t have to do it all at once—you just have to start.

🟢 Small step: Tell yourself you only need to show up to the first session. That’s it. No commitment beyond that. Just one step at a time.

2. “I Don’t Know If It’ll Help Me”

If you’ve been through years of therapy and still feel like it is all too much, it’s normal to feel skeptical. DBT is often recommended to people who have tried everything else—and that can bring both hope and hopelessness.

But DBT is different because it teaches skills—real, practical tools for managing emotions, reducing impulsivity, and improving relationships. It’s not just talking about problems—it’s about building a toolkit to face them.

🟢 Small step: Watch a video or read a personal story from someone who’s completed DBT. Hearing how it helped others can build trust that it could help you too.

3. “I’m Scared of Feeling Exposed or Judged”

A full DBT approach involves group therapy (the skills class). For some, skills classes can feel terrifying if you’re used to hiding your emotions or feel ashamed of your past.

Here’s what you need to know: DBT groups aren’t group therapy in the traditional sense. They’re skills classes, more like a course than a therapy circle. You don’t have to share your deepest secrets. You learn together, and you get to choose how much or how little you share.

Also? Everyone in that room gets it. You’re not too much. You’re not the only one. You belong there.

🟢 Small step: Ask your therapist or provider what group looks like. Sometimes, just knowing what to expect helps reduce fear.

4. “What If I Fail at DBT?”

If you’re someone who already struggles with self-criticism or perfectionism, the idea of “failing” at therapy might feel like one more thing to get wrong.

But DBT expects individuals to struggle. In fact, one of its core assumptions is:
🌀 “People are doing the best they can—and they can do better with support.”

DBT therapists don’t expect perfection. They seek effort. If you forget to fill out your diary card or mess up a skill—good. That means you’re trying. That means you’re in it.

🟢 Small step: Shift your mindset from “I have to do this perfectly” to “I just have to keep showing up.” That’s how progress happens.

5. “I Don’t Think I Deserve to Get Better”

This one hits deep. If you’ve been in pain for a long time, there may be a part of you that believes healing isn’t for you. That you’re too broken, too complicated, too far gone.

Let me say this clearly:
💬 DBT was made for people who feel like they’re at the end of the road.
If you’re still breathing, there’s still a chance. And if no one has told you this before—you are allowed to heal. You are allowed to build a life worth living.

🟢 Small step: Try saying this to yourself—“Even if I don’t believe I deserve healing, I’m going to try anyway.” Let your actions lead the way.

Final Thoughts: The Hardest Part Is Starting—But That’s Where Everything Changes

Starting DBT means choosing to stop surviving and start learning. It means being willing to believe—just a little—that change is possible.

It won’t be easy. And you won’t be doing it alone.

So if you’re standing at the edge, wondering if you should take the leap—this is your sign.

🧠 You don’t have to feel ready.
🦶 You just have to take one step.
💬 And you can always ask for support along the way.

We all deserve the tools. We all deserve the stability. We all deserve the life that DBT can help you build.

Need help figuring out how to start DBT? Whether it’s finding a program, understanding the structure, or beginning DBT… our DBT Clinic team is available to support you access the most appropriate DBT program! We have programs commencing four times a year in February, April, July and October. Our individual therapists can usually see you within a week of your initial contact.

You can get in contact with our team via email to intake@dbtclinics.com or go to our appointments page for more options at https://dbtclinics.com/appointments/

Radical Openness for the New Year!

Every January, millions of people make resolutions that sound a lot like this:

“Be more productive.”
“Stick to a strict routine.”
“Control my eating/spending/time better.”

Sound familiar?

If you tend toward perfectionism, rule-following, or emotional inhibition, these kinds of resolutions might feel natural—but also exhausting. That’s where Radically Open DBT (RO-DBT) offers a breath of fresh air. Instead of trying to tighten up, RO-DBT invites us to loosen up—to get curious, take social-emotional risks, and embrace the vulnerability that comes with being truly seen.

So this year, try flipping the script. Let’s make resolutions that focus on openness, flexibility, and joyful connection.

🎭 1. Be More Weird (On Purpose)

Traditional Resolution: “Be more professional/perfect/polished.”
RO-DBT Reframe: “Take more social-emotional risks—show my quirky, real self.”

Overcontrolled individuals often fear being judged or rejected, so they mask their true personality. RO-DBT teaches that expressing our uniqueness (even awkwardly!) builds real connection.

Resolution Idea:
Once a week, do something a little out of character on purpose—crack a silly joke, share an embarrassing story, or wear something that breaks your usual style rules. Let people see the real, imperfect, vibrant you.

🎲 2. Break a Rule (That Doesn’t Serve You)

Traditional Resolution: “Stick to my routines no matter what.”
RO-DBT Reframe: “Challenge one rigid rule I follow that might be limiting me.”

People with overcontrolled coping styles often have unspoken “shoulds” that govern everything—from how to load the dishwasher to how emotions should be expressed.

Resolution Idea:
Pick one internal rule that creates stress (e.g., “I must always be early,” or “I can’t relax until everything’s done”) and break it once a week—gently, playfully, mindfully.

💬 3. Speak Honestly (Even If It Feels Risky)

Traditional Resolution: “Keep the peace and avoid confrontation.”
RO-DBT Reframe: “Practice radical openness by sharing how I really feel.”

In RO-DBT, radical openness means being willing to share truths—not just opinions. This means expressing real feelings, preferences, or disappointments instead of bottling them up.

Resolution Idea:
Once a week, express something honest and vulnerable to someone close. It doesn’t have to be dramatic—it could be as simple as, “I’ve been feeling lonely lately,” or “I actually don’t love that restaurant.”

🌀 4. Let Go of the Plan (and Roll With It)

Traditional Resolution: “Stick to my schedule.”
RO-DBT Reframe: “Practice flexibility when life doesn’t go as planned.”

Overcontrolled folks often find comfort in planning—but life is messy, and growth lives in the unplanned. RO-DBT encourages us to approach change with curiosity, not fear.

Resolution Idea:
Create space each week for spontaneity. Say yes to a last-minute invite. Try something new without researching it first. Let someone else make the plan. Notice the discomfort—and do it anyway.

🫶 5. **Make Time for Playful Connection**

Traditional Resolution: “Strengthen relationships by being more helpful or responsible.”
RO-DBT Reframe: “Nurture connection through shared joy, not just duty.”

People high in overcontrol often focus on being useful, which can accidentally make relationships feel transactional. RO-DBT teaches that play, laughter, and mutual weirdness are the glue of true connection.

Resolution Idea:
Schedule one lighthearted social interaction each week. Watch a silly movie with a friend. Play a game. Dance around the kitchen. Laugh on purpose. Let go of the need to be productive in every interaction.

🌱 Final Thoughts: The Most Radical Resolution of All

In a world that praises hustle, control, and perfection, the most radical thing you can do is let yourself be real.

RO-DBT reminds us that authentic connection requires courage, playfulness, and openness to feedback. So this year, instead of striving to be better, try being braver. Not in the “face your fears” kind of way—but in the “show up as your whole self” kind of way.

Because maybe, just maybe, that’s the version of you the world’s been waiting to meet.

Want to learn more about starting RO-DBT? We have programs commencing four times a year in February, April, July and October. Our individual therapists can usually see you within a week of your initial contact.

You can get in contact with our team via email to intake@dbtclinics.com or go to our appointments page for more options at https://dbtclinics.com/appointments/

DBT-Inspired New Year’s Resolutions

Ah, New Year’s resolutions. Every January, we’re bombarded with messages to “be better,” “do more,” or “finally get it together.” But let’s be real: those all-or-nothing goals? They often lead to burnout by February.

Enter: DBT (Dialectical Behaviour Therapy)—a skills-based approach that’s all about finding balance, managing emotions, and building a life worth living. Instead of aiming for perfection, DBT invites us to live more mindfully, regulate emotions effectively, and improve our relationships.

So this year, skip the shame-based resolutions and try these DBT-aligned goals instead.

🧘‍♀️ 1. Practice Mindfulness Over Perfection

Traditional Resolution: “I’ll be more productive every day.”
DBT-Inspired Upgrade: “I’ll practice mindfulness every day—even for 60 seconds.”

Mindfulness in DBT means staying present without judgment. You don’t have to meditate on a mountain. It could be as simple as mindfully brushing your teeth or eating a snack without scrolling your phone. It’s not about zoning out—it’s about tuning in.

Try this: Set a daily “pause” alarm. When it goes off, take 3 deep breaths and check in:
What am I feeling right now? What do I need?

💪 2. Build Emotional Resilience (One Healthy Habit at a Time)

Traditional Resolution: “I’m going to completely cut out sugar and go to the gym every day.”
DBT-Inspired Upgrade: “I’ll take care of my body so my emotions have a solid foundation.”

In DBT, the PLEASE skills remind us to care for our physical health to reduce emotional vulnerability. It’s not about weight loss or punishment—it’s about fueling your body and brain so you can handle life better.

DBT Goal Ideas:

Drink a full glass of water when you wake up.
Go for a 10-minute walk three times a week.
Go to bed 30 minutes earlier once a week.

Tiny changes can make a big emotional impact.

🔥 3. Respond to Stress Without Self-Destructing

Traditional Resolution: “I’ll stop freaking out when things go wrong.”
DBT-Inspired Upgrade: “When I’m overwhelmed, I’ll use Distress Tolerance skills before reacting.”

Life will get messy. DBT’s Distress Tolerance tools help you survive those moments without making things worse. It’s not about suppressing emotions—it’s about riding the wave until it passes.

Resolution idea: “When I’m triggered, I’ll pause and do one DBT skill before acting.”
Examples:

Splash cold water on your face (TIP skill).
Do a grounding 5-4-3-2-1 exercise.
Hold an ice cube when you’re overwhelmed.

🗣️ 4. Communicate Like a Boss (Even When It’s Hard)

Traditional Resolution: “I’m going to cut out all toxic people.”
DBT-Inspired Upgrade: “I’ll use DBT’s DEAR MAN skills to ask for what I need.”

Setting boundaries is self-care. But so is expressing needs with skill. DBT’s Interpersonal Effectiveness tools like DEAR MAN help you speak up with confidence and kindness.

Mini-resolution: Practice one assertive conversation a month using DEAR MAN:

Describe the situation
Express how you feel
Assert what you need
Reinforce why it matters
Stay Mindful, Appear confident, and be open to Negotiation

Example:
“I feel anxious when plans change last minute. Can we agree to give each other at least a few hours’ notice?”

🌿 5. Radically Accept What You Can’t Control

Traditional Resolution: “I’m going to stay positive no matter what!”
DBT-Inspired Upgrade: “I will practice radical acceptance when life is out of my control.”

Positivity is great—but sometimes, life just sucks. Radical Acceptance isn’t giving up; it’s choosing peace over resistance when things can’t be changed.

Resolution idea: When something feels unfair, painful, or unexpected, pause and say:
“This is what’s happening. I may not like it, but I accept that it’s real.”
That moment of acceptance can create space for healing.

🧠 Final Thoughts: Progress, Not Perfection

The magic of DBT is that it embraces the dialectic: two things can be true at once. You can want to change and accept where you are. You can struggle and still be trying your best. Your self-care doesn’t need to be aesthetic or Instagram-worthy—it just needs to be yours.

Yearly Archives: 2025